Reflections is a weekly meme hosted by Kristin of A Simply Enchanted Life and Fizzy of Fizzy Pop Collection. Every Sunday we will dig deeper in our recent reads to explore the real-life lessons within the pages. Reading the book yourself is not necessary to participate. If you would like to host your own reflection, you’re welcome to copy and paste this introduction, with the link to our pages. You may use our current or prior reflections or come up with your own.
In ‘Bringing Maggie Home‘ by Kim Vogel Sawyer, Hazel’s baby sister was taken while they were out picking berries when she was very young. Because of this Hazel blamed herself for her sister’s disappearance causing her to become over protective and ‘smothering’ her own daughter. Hazel’s over-protectiveness drove Diane to be a much less affectionate mother to her daughter Meghan, which in turn left Meghan wondering if her mother truly loved her. Why do past events affect present situations? How can we be certain we aren’t allowing the past to negatively influence our present?
I don’t think there is any way we can say with certainty that we’re not reacting negatively to past trauma. Personal trauma can run deep and many times a person is unaware that it is affecting their lives—especially when many years have passed.
I do think it is very important to have periods of self-reflection. Quiet time spent in thoughtful prayer or meditation to reflect on how we feel and treat others. We need to become self-aware and in touch with our feelings, emotions and how they affect us.
It can be hard to go through this self-critique and sometimes we might need to talk with a trusted friend or mentor as we might be blind to our own faults. If I may quote Star Wars…
Mentors have a way of seeing more of our faults than we would like. It’s the only way we grow. -Padmé Amidala
How many times do you hear someone say ‘The past is the past, leave it there.’ This question goes hand in hand with last weeks questions, same family passing down generations with completely different results. Both are rooted in the same thing: fear. Unless you create a habit to not dwell on the past then, just like fear, it has a toehold and window to get into your present and even your future. I am a firm believer that you should never forget the past, it has done a pretty solid job of making you who you are today. Flaws and triumphs, fears and successes, it’s all wrapped up in You. The difference is that there is learning from the past to prevent future recurrences of negative things or dwelling in the past to prevent future growth. When we dwell on the past we are choosing fear. Even dwelling on positive pasts without choosing to look toward the future is rooted in fear. Fear that we will never be that good, that smart, that loved again. Dwelling on negative past events keeps us rooted in not being good enough, smart enough, lovable enough. All of that, all of it, is rooted in fear. We have to create a habit that fear has no door to enter. We have to create a habit of going to God with all of it, the positive and the negative, so that fear of never being that good again or fear of always being that bad, can’t take root.